Women

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish................................49.
Adventurous......................Slept with everyone.
Athletic..............................No breasts.
Average looking.................Moooo.
Beautiful.............................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure.............On medication.
Feminist..............................Fat.
Free spirit...........................Junkie.
Friendship first....................Former slut.
New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned.....................No BJs.
Open-minded......................Desperate.
Outgoing.............................Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional.........................Bitch.
Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.
Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.



WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry =You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk =You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead =You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!